Tuesday, December 9, 2008

So this post may be the hardest I will ever have to write...Sadly, Luke and I lost the baby this weekend. It has been to date the longest, most difficult weekend of my life.
I have gone through a wide range of emotions over the past 4 days. I have found myself angry, confused, depressed, and hurt. I can not understand why the Lord would allow this into our lives after trying to conceive for so long. However, there are some things that He has made clear to me in the midst of my hurt. They are very simple: God is still in control, and He is still good! I may be angry and I may not understand, but He holds a purpose in all things. My sweet husband keeps on reminding me of the story of Job. Job was a righteous man, and yet the Lord allowed immense hurt into his life for ultimately one purpose...He knew that despite the circumstances of life, Job was going to praise the Lord through it all. In Job 2:9, Job says, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Oh, how this applies to our family right now. The Lord has blessed us with the ability to conceive. He gave us a few short days of life within me to realize that. For whatever reason now, He has taken away, but we will still praise His name! After Jobs' wife tells him to curse God and die, Job replies in 2:10, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" Just less than one week ago, I wrote about the Lords goodness to our family because He had given to us. Now I am writing about the Lords goodness even though He has taken away. I know that we live in an imperfect world where imperfect things happen and until we are in His presence at home in Heaven, we have to expect and accept "trouble" just as we would "good".
Praise the Lord with me for He is good!

11 comments:

Rhianna Garber said...

That is such an amazing testimony. I know God is going to use that somehow. I thank HIM everyday that we are friends and I am reminded how blessed we have been by your family.

carol prosser said...

The next verse in Job says, "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing."
We love you both so much and are so proud of how you seek, serve and honor our Lord! We are praying for you Psalm 34:18. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." The Lord IS good - one way He has shown His goodness to us is by answering our prayers for our children - "I have no greater joy than seeing that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 4. Thank you for allowing us to experience that joy!
We love you 3!
Dad and Mom

the broomes said...

I love you so much dear sister. ...And although it so greatly grieves me to watch you walk through such hurt and sadness, I could not be more proud of you. Thank you for being such a godly example of what it means to trust God's faithfulness and goodness through the most difficult of trials. I am praying for you and love you.

the hollis huddle said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you as you grieve and you continue to seek Him through your woundedness. I love that you are choosing to use this as a chance to proclaim God's greatness...I know He is honored by that. Love you guys!

Rebecca Prosser said...

Laura,
I am so BLESSED To have you as a sister and a friend. I love you and am praying for you, Luke and Maddie right now. I know at times it’s hard to understand that as God's Children he lets us go through pain like you are experiencing. Someone once told me that we cant begin to explain the unexplainable! I pray that God surround you with his love right now! I love you!!!!

Stuarts said...

Laura, I'm so sorry for the hurt and pain that you're experiencing. Thank you for sharing your heart and for reminding us all that walking in God's grace is not always easy, but it's also never out of His control. We are praying for you and your family.

The Ingolds said...

Praying for you guys...cannot imagine what you are going through right now but it is so wonderful to hear your thought process and how much you are relying on Him. We love you!!

James 1:2-4
Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

Tom and Katie said...

You guys are in our prayers. We have been where you are and it is a difficult road, but the Lord walks beside us, in all things... as you clearly already know! :) Your story is a testament to the fact that He really does give beauty for ashes.
Much love to all three of you...

mbilancich said...

Oh sweat Laura,
I thank you for sharing your grieving heart. I also now that God will use this time to teach you so much. When I lost Joy I was go angry and confused, but oh how God used my pain to open my heart and teach me more about him. I pray that you allow him to speak to you and teach you some of the most amazing things. You and your sweat angel that he needed back in heaven are in my prayer!!

Love, your sister in Christ
Melanie Bilancich (McCurry)

bilancich said...

Oh sweet Laura,
I thank you for sharing your grieving heart. I also now that God will use this time to teach you so much. When I lost Joy I was go angry and confused, but oh how God used my pain to open my heart and teach me more about him. I pray that you allow him to speak to you and teach you some of the most amazing things. You and your sweat angel that he needed back in heaven are in my prayer!!

Love, your Sister in Christ
Melanie Bilancich

Chris and Anna said...

We are so sorry for the heartache you all are going through. I know these days must be so painful, but what grace I read in your words. It is so amaing to see how you all are trusting and following so closely to our gracious heavenly Father during these days. We are constantly praying for you.

My friend gave me this verse over 5 years ago and now I give to it you dear friend... Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Oh, He is full of lovingkindness and compassion!

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About Me

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Luke and I met while in school at SBU. We have one beautiful daughter Maddie, who is 5. Currently we are beginning the process of adopting a child, or children from Ethiopia. The Lord has blessed our family in so many ways and we are forever thankful.